


What is Hope to You?

by WritertotheMaximum



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, Fluff, M/M, Ultimate Hopesters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-11 23:12:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7911259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritertotheMaximum/pseuds/WritertotheMaximum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Komaeda and Naegi eat lunch together.<br/>There are lots of discussions about what 'Hope' is, and eventually, a sort of friendship is spun out of that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Firsts Everywhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, here goes nothing.

Firsts Everywhere

My first day at school. I got this. I’m so surprised that I, of all people, was selected to go here. Surprised? No. Glad. I’m so happy that I was selected to go here. It’ll be something fun, something I will always look back to, something where I can remember and go, ‘Oh, so that’s where I turned out for the better’. This is going to be great. I know it.  
Everyone here has such a colorful personality, it’s quite stunning, really. I even met Maizono again, the one from middle school. It’s such a relief that I know somebody here. It’s quite overwhelming.  
About half the class is here. Evidently, going to class isn’t mandatory. I mean, it’s not like we’re forced to learn anything. It feels like our teacher is more of a supervisor to whatever shenanigans my classmates decide to come up with.  
The lunch bell rings and everyone storms out of their seats. I stand up, quite alone and unsure as to what to do. I guess I’ll find somewhere outside to eat.  
I settle upon a shady spot beneath a tree. I sit down and open my lunchbox to see what there is to eat. I notice somebody approach me and then pause. They make eye contact, blink, then abruptly turn around. I stand up.  
“If this is your spot, I can move.”  
They turn around and look at me once again. He seems like an upperclassmen. He has white fluffy hair and wears a brownish version of the uniform. He’s very pale. It looks unhealthy.  
“No, it’s fine. I can just come some other time.”  
“You seem to come here a lot, then. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”  
He just smiles as his response.  
Well, I don’t want him to leave. “There’s enough room for both of us.”  
We end up sitting next to each other, eating our lunches.   
“I’m Naegi Makoto. I’m from the 78th class.”  
“Ah, so you’re one of the new first years.”  
“Eh…Yeah.”  
“Pleased to meet you. My name is Komaeda Nagito.”  
So formal.  
“Oh, and since we’re introducing ourselves, I guess I should explain why I’m here.” He sighs. “Although my talent is a bit lousy.”  
“I’m sure it’s not. Everyone here has to have something redeeming.” Except me. “Not everyone gets to go here.”  
He laughs. “I’m glad you see it that way. You’re right. Everyone here is so spectacularly amazing, I can’t help but gaze and watch.” He remembers what we were talking about. “Ah yes. My stupid talent.” He collects himself before he speaks. “My talent is having good luck.”  
“Eh?” Wait. What?  
“I’m not joking. It’s official. That’s my talent.”  
“No, that’s not it.”  
“Oh? Then what is it, Naegi-kun?”  
I really don’t like the way he phrased that.  
“It’s just that…” I shuffle a bit. “Luck is my talent, too.”  
Something in his complexion changes. He looks disappointed about something. Like the color left his greenish eyes. He leans back just a bit.  
“Ah, I see.” A smirk lines the corners of his mouth. “Then that makes sense why we’re all alone. Us trash students sitting back watching these talented human beings flourish and grow. I understand you, Naegi.”  
Huh? Where’d the honorific go? What’s with this sudden change?  
“We’re not trash! Don’t talk like that! We’re here for a reason. Unlike the others, we just haven’t quite found it yet.”  
“This school is called Hope’s Peak because it’s where Hope is born from talent. I’ve found that purpose you’re talking of. We’re the pillars so that Hope can grow. Don’t you see that, Naegi? We’re here so that they can spit on us, use us as their stepladder for whatever they see fit. That’s why we’re here. That’s why—”  
“That’s wrong! Hope and talent aren’t even related. As long as you’re a good person, Hope can be born anywhere. No. Anyone can have Hope. That’s what makes it so great.”  
“I have to disagree. If Hope and talent weren’t related, then why does this school exist? It’s been here for centuries, there has to be some reasoning behind their belief.”  
“I don’t…” I take a deep breath. I can’t lose here. “Then why are we here? If we’re as normal and as insignificant as you say we are, then why are we here? We have the aptitude to make our own Hope.”  
“I don’t think you understand, Naegi. We’re here to support that Hope. Normally, there are never two people with the same talent at the same time. We’re their throw away students who are here to remind the Ultimates who they’ll be dealing with when they leave here.”  
This guy’s unbreakable. I want to keep going, force my argument through, but…I feel like it’s going to take a bit longer than one lunch period to do that.  
The bell rings and we part ways, without uttering a single word.

The next day, I go to the same spot. I’m not exactly sure why, but I feel like I can’t just let him think so negatively. He doesn’t seem malicious, just self-deprecating. I’m sure he’ll open up, though.  
I sit down, and sure enough, a minute later, he shows up and sits next to me. We don’t speak a word. Just eat. He doesn’t eat much, just some bread. My mom made my lunch. It’s got lots of food. It’s delicious so I scarf it down.  
Komaeda laughs. “You must like whoever who made your food. A sister?”  
“You don’t want to see my sister cook, trust me.”  
“Ah, so your mother cooks your food.”  
“A-And…”  
“It makes sense for completely and utterly useless people like ourselves to depend on others. That’s what we do.”  
“So who makes your lunch, Komaeda-kun?”  
He pauses and tightens his lips back.  
“How are you at cooking?”  
He totally just dodged the question there. Ah well.  
“Well…If I was any good, I’d make my own lunch.”  
“Both of us are the same, I see. The only thing I can cook is toast. Us lucky students aren’t very good at anything, so it makes sense.” So he makes his own lunch. “I have the Ultimate Cook in my class, and after I tried his food, I shed a tear.”  
“A tear? It was that good?”  
“Watching everyone eat it together mixed with the skill and talent put into the food.” He grabs his arms and gives a twisted smile. “It was beautiful.” He relaxes. “We could never recreate something as amazing as that.”  
We. Thanks. But what is with this way of thinking?  
“Well, just because you won't be the best at it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.”  
“I’m glad you think that way, but I don’t think—”  
“I’ll make your lunch tomorrow then.”  
“Eh?”  
“It may taste horrible, but I’m going to do it. With some practice, and some time, it’ll get good, I promise you.”  
He laughs. “Okay then. Prove me wrong, Naegi-kun.”  
That sounded like he’s mocking me. He added the honorific again, too.  
The bell rings and we part ways once again.

At home, I spend a lot of time cooking the best bento I can. Komaru walks up to me and watches.  
“Makoto, you’re making your own lunch? That’s a first.”  
“…Yeah.”  
She gasps. “Could it be…for a girl?”  
It’s for a guy, but not for that reason.  
“No.”  
“Aw…”  
“I just wanted to be more independant for once. I’m always relying on you guys.”  
Komaru runs up to me and hugs me.  
“W-What’s this for?”  
“It’s okay to rely on us. We’re your family after all.”  
“Thanks, Komaru.”

I went to that tree, carrying a small box. I held my promise. I sit down and wait for him to arrive. Sure enough, he shows up and sits right next to me.  
“Wow. That’s quite a bit of food.”  
“Well, you only ever eat a slice of bread. You look unhealthy. So I made sure to give you a lot.”  
“Normally, I’d be honored for you to say that, but because I know that you’re just doing it to feel better about your insignificant life, I don’t feel anything like that.”  
I shove it onto his lap.  
“…Just eat it.”  
He opens up the lid and sighs.  
“Naegi-kun. I don’t like rice.”  
I stare at him. It’s a bit messy, but I put in fried rice, carrots, and some beef. And he’s telling me that he doesn’t like rice.  
I hand him chopsticks.  
“Eat it.”  
Reluctantly, he picks up a piece of meat and puts it in his mouth. He hums and meddles over it.  
“It’s not bad.”  
“Really?”  
“It’s not good, either.”  
“Oh.”  
Well, what was I expecting? At least he’s eating it now.  
We are startled by a sudden rustle behind us. We both stand up. Something ran up the tree. A scream echos in the distance and a girl stumbles her way up the hill, whining and crying. She has disoriented purple hair and is wearing a tan uniform, much like the person standing next to me.  
“Uwaaaa! What do I do what do I do what do I do?”  
Komaeda doesn’t move and instead gives me an intense look. What? He wants me to do something?  
I walk over to her. “Is there something wrong?”  
She looks up at me, just noticing my existence and takes a few steps back, in fright.  
“I’m sorry i-if I disturbed y-your lunch.”  
“No, if there’s anything I can help you with…”  
She looks downwards a bit.  
“G-Gundam-san asked me to f-find a cat t-that ran away and and and…”  
“It’s okay, slow down.”  
“It climbed up the tree! I’m sorry!”  
“No. It’s fine. I can get it for you if you want me to.”  
“R-Really? I don’t k-know how I can r-repay you. I don’t have any m-money.”  
“You don’t have to pay me anything.”  
“Oh. So t-that’s what y-you want. It’s okay. Don’t b-be too h-harsh.”  
“No! I don’t need anything! Nothing!”  
“Nothing?”  
“Just let me get the cat for you.”  
“You’re too kind!”  
She starts bawling her eyes out and I walk to the tree. I see the cat. It’s orange and just sitting there, relaxing. The tree splits up into two large branches, one that the cat is sitting on. I hate to admit it, but I’m rather short so I can’t get up to it.  
“Komaeda-kun. Can I stand on your shoulders?”  
“What? You can’t get up there yourself?”  
I give him a nasty look.  
“As long as it helps Tsumiki-san. I’m not very strong, so make it quick.”  
He bends down and I put each foot onto each respective shoulder. He stands and I can get into reach of the split in the tree. I climb onto it so that my weight is fully onto the tree. I inch my way towards the cat as to not disturb it. I grab it and in the process, I’m let loose and fall onto the ground with a mighty plop. The cat slashes its way out of my grasp and into Tsumiki’s arms. She starts crying.  
“A-A-Are you okay?! I-I-I’m a n-nurse!”  
I rub my head.  
“I think I’m fine.”  
“A-Are you s-sure?”  
“I’m fine, I promise.”  
“Thank you…”  
“Naegi.”  
“Naegi-san! And Komaeda-san too! Thank you!”  
After much prodding to calm her down, she ended up leaving and taking the cat back to whoever asked her to get it. Komaeda and I sit next to each other once again, lunch nearing its end. He eats the carrots and I sit, waiting for him to finish.  
“Hey, Naegi-kun. What is Hope to you?”  
“My Hope? That’s like asking what the meaning of life is. I’m not sure there’s an answer for that.”  
He looks at me like that wasn’t the answer he wanted. He pouts a bit, then sighs.  
“If you saw someone brimming with Hope, what qualities would you say they have?”  
Qualities? Someone full of Hope? “They’d be brave. Courageous. Kind. Willing to help people. Give them a smile. Work with everyone to create peace and harmony no matter the odds.”  
Komaeda smiles lightly. The sun shines softly behind the downy of his hair. It’s the first smile that feels earnest and bright. “That…That is my Hope, too.”  
The bell rings, he stands up and bids me a goodbye. Walking away, I noticed a piece of toast sitting on the grass. A little piece of paper was placed next to it. It reads, _“Sorry! I can’t cook very well.  
—Komaeda”_


	2. Lucky You

Lucky You

The next day, I sit down and wait for Komaeda to show up. He doesn’t. I even made him lunch again. I eat it alone.

The day after that, I sit down and wait for Komaeda to show up. He doesn’t. I eat our lunch. Looks like I’m alone again.

Why do I keep coming here? I know he’s not going to show up. I could be eating with Maizono or Kirigiri. Hell, even eating with Celes would be better than this. Actually, I take that back. I definitely take that back.

It’s hard to describe how happy I am to see that white fluff again. It’s strange, really. He just calls us normal and trash, but I know he’s not a bad person. He just has an…interesting…way of seeing things. He’s too negative. Even Komaru’s told me that my only good trait is being an optimist. I have to take pride in that.  
Strangely enough, Komaeda has a cast around his arm.  
“Ah, sorry about being gone the past couple days. I got hit by a truck.”  
“Hit by a truck?!”  
“Well, I’m sure you of all people would know best.”  
“Know what?”  
“The luck cycle.”  
“Luck cycle?”  
He puts his palm to his face. “What? You don’t have it? And here I thought there was someone like me.”  
I give him a confused stare in response. He relaxes and sighs.  
“For everything that happens, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. If something good happens, then something bad will happen later to balance it out.”  
He looks at me to see if I get it. Evidently, I don’t.  
“Okay, let’s say you’re on an airplane and a terrorist hijacks it. That’s bad luck, right? But then a meteor comes crashing down and kills the terrorist. That’s good luck. But the meteor makes the whole plane crash killing everyone, even your parents. Bad luck. Oh look, you’re alive. Good luck.”  
“That’s…quite the example.” Unless…No…“Did that…happen to you?”  
“Did it? I can’t seem to remember.”  
I stare at him, my mouth agape. I feel horrible for him, but he doesn’t even seem to be bothered by it. I shouldn’t dwell on it.  
“Actually, there was a time when something like that happened to me.”  
“Really?”  
“Well, just once. It’s a long story, but a bunch of bad things happened like getting stuck on a bus with a criminal, but by the end of the day, I got a letter telling me that I was supposed to go to Hope’s Peak.”  
“I see. The repercussion from that was probably meeting me. Two lowly bugs sitting side-by-side eating lunch together. How sad.”  
“Uh…I don’t think that’s it…”  
“Now that you mention it, after I met you, absolutely horrible things have been happening to me! Perhaps I should be grateful that I met someone so insignificant as myself!”  
He laughs using the thick of his throat.  
“Then…isn’t that a good thing, then?”  
“Hm?”  
“If bad things have been happening, then even if I’m as average as you say I am, then that must mean you like eating here together with me.”  
He pauses, looking me right in the eyes. His eyelids close shut for a blink, blocking the sun from reflecting against the pastel grey. A smile, smaller, more subtle than all the rest creeps onto his face.  
“I guess I do.”  
I look at his hand. It’s a bit shriveled and worn.  
“Komaeda-kun. How did you hurt your arm?”  
“What do you mean? I told you.”  
“You don’t get burn marks from getting hit by a truck. It’s not like you to lie, so I know something is off.”  
He waits just a second, then places his free hand onto his head.  
“You caught me.”  
He laughs something so fake I feel like I can reach forwards and pull the guise right off his face.  
“What _really_ happened?”  
“I don’t know, Naegi-kun. Figure it out yourself. If you really think anyone can do anything if they ‘try hard enough’, then even you should be able to figure it out. If that’s your Hope, if it’s effort, then show it to me, Naegi-kun. Show me how your Hope can overcome Despair.”  
A surge wells up inside me. He’s taunting me, but I can’t give in here. My chance is now. Maybe, just maybe, I can make him a better person.  
I close my eyes and give it a long thought. What clues has he given me? Why would he lie about something like this? How would I be able to know something impossible?  
“You’re wrong!” I shout.  
“A-About what?” He’s obviously startled. He smiles. “Did you find out how I broke my arm? I doubted that such an average person could hold such Ho—”  
“Komaeda-kun. Where’s your lunch?”  
He pauses, stalling for time.  
“I didn’t bring one.”  
“Why?”  
“Didn’t I tell you to figure it out yourself?”  
“No. I know how it all happened.”  
“Hm? You know? Tell me then, Naegi.”  
Ugh. He dropped the honorific again. I collect myself. I hesitate to spit it out, as the answer is rather embarrassing.  
“You broke it making lunch for me, starting a fire. You must have burnt yourself in the process.”  
Komaeda’s scorning stops in an instance, leaving only an empty expression one would one have after seeing death itself. His nose and lips begin to twitch and he stands up. Looking up, I see his mouth start to part, his face start to contort, forming a smirk that crosses from cheek to cheek. I hear a chuckle, like a laugh is breaking loose from it’s chains. Then, a scream echoes throughout the small hill we were on. His cackle so intense his eyes begin to swirl in grey, in green, in blue, in black.  
“Oh, Naegi-kun. How I’d love to have your Hope.”  
He walked away, nothing more.

The next day, I eat lunch with the trio. The trio being Ishimaru, Fujisaki, and Oowada. I thought maybe they’d clear my mind. We eat in the cafeteria, Ishimaru’s idea, evidently, and I look down at the lunch I made for myself. It’s getting better, at least. I even have some fish this time.  
I can’t help but think about what Komaeda did. Why did he try to hide getting hurt cooking? Did he burn down his entire house or something? I hope he has a place to stay.  
…Why did he start laughing like that? What did I do? _How I’d love to have your Hope?_ What does that mean? Didn’t he say that normal people like us couldn’t have our own Hope? Maybe that was it…Did I shatter his beliefs? Was it too much for him?…Or was he always like that? I should go tomorrow. I should ask him why. Then, maybe then, I could understand him a bit better.  
“Naegi-kun! What is the issue?! You look distraught! You must keep a good mood in order to keep up with your studies!”  
“Who gives a flying f—”  
“Would you two quit yelling please?”  
Ishimaru coughs rather quietly and rather fakely.  
“I apologize profusely Fujisaki-kun.”  
“Yeah f—”  
“Oowada! What did I say about cursing?! This is a school en—”  
“Uwa! Quit yelling!”  
What was I expecting? At least it’s more calming then…well…whatever happened yesterday. And, ironically, just as loud.

The next day, I go to that tree. It still parts into two large branches, and I still arrive first. I wonder if he came here yesterday, expecting me. I made both of us lunch. Komaru asked about it, but I told her it was for a friend. I hope she doesn't get the wrong impression. I made sure not to put rice in Komaeda’s portion.  
Sure enough, a moment after I sit down, he arrives. He doesn’t speak, only a smile and a wave. He doesn’t sit right next to me, like usual. He makes a gap between us, but still less than a meter or so. He’s wearing some different clothing today. White shirt, green jacket. He still has his cast, though. I hold my lunch out to him.  
“It’s for you.”  
“Ah, Naegi-kun. I don’t need anything.”  
Hm? This is a first.  
“Why not?”  
“I can’t take anything from someone as amazing as you.”  
What. What? _What?_ Did Komaeda just _praise_ me?  
I tilt myself and look at him in the face. It’s a smile. One I now know is faker than a con-artist selling you toilet paper.  
“Komaeda? What’s gotten into you?”  
He seems surprised about something. “I see you’ve dropped the honorific. If you want to call me something else, I recommend Trash, Failure, Useless, Fu—”  
“Komaeda! What’s wrong?!”  
I abruptly stand, leaving the lunchbox at my feet. He stares at me so that the faint color of his eyes blends with the sun behind his head. My throat stings. I hardly raise my voice like that. He closes his eyes. He pauses for a while, letting the dust sit, letting everything settle down. But I wait, I will wait. I have to hear what he’s going to say. Why he’s acting this way.  
“May I ask you a question,” He tilts his head upwards, opening his eyes, “Naegi-kun?”  
“You don’t need to ask permission for that.” I plop back down onto the ground.  
“To me, Hope is absolute good. People have their own forms of Hope, any kind of desire. As a person without any true talent, I must help those who have the ability to act upon the Hope that they feel is true. Whether that is encouragement or Despair, I must become the foundation for that Hope. So let me ask you again.” As he spoke, he crept closer to me until his face was right up next to mine. I feel his breath on the soft hairs on my mouth and a shiver spikes up my spine. His large, greyish-green eyes pierce through my head, asking and asking, “Say, what is Hope to you?”  
I lean back, unsure how to answer the question I had previously brushed off. One wrong word here could result in rage, or even worse, that painful laugh, etched into my ears like nails against a chalkboard.  
“My Hope is everyone’s Hope. I share it with them. Their kindness, their pain, their love, all of it. It is ours to overcome, it is ours to love. The Hope that everyone can be good, the Hope that even the worst of all people can be redeemed, you just have to reach for it. That is my Hope, Komaeda.”  
As I spoke, Komaeda’s jaw gradually started to lower. Now, drool slides over the side of his lips. A droplet falls onto my uniform’s pants leg.  
“…Komaeda?”  
“Hm?”  
He notices what he’s doing and leans back, wiping his face. He stares at me, as if I were some kind of natural wonder created only to be gawked at.  
“Komaeda?”  
He blinks. He blinks again. Now it’s rapidly.  
“I’m…Sorry…”  
“About what?” The drool?  
“Hope’s Peak…was wrong.” He puts his working hand on my shoulder and smiles with an open mouth. “You’re not the Ultimate Lucky Student!”  
“Eh?”  
The swirls begin to reform in his eyes.  
“ _You’re the_ _Ultimate Hope_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of f-words interrupted by another character in this chapter is equivalent to the amount of f-words I give about this story.  
> Apparently three.


	3. Let's Go Home

Let’s Go Home

After yesterday, Komaeda hasn’t really spoken to me. I eat with him, and I still make him lunch, but he doesn’t say anything but a polite, “Thank you” and a “Goodbye, Naegi-kun”. I notice that he’s been wearing the same thing for three days in a row. It’s getting really dirty by now.  
“Komaeda. Where’d your uniform go?”  
It takes a while for the reply to usher out of his mouth.  
“I stained it.”  
“Why not wash it?”  
“I don’t have a washer.”  
“Where do you live?”  
“Oh, it shouldn't concern someone like you where trash like me lives.”  
“It does.”  
“I know what you’re going to do. And I don’t want that.”  
“Tell me.”  
He locks eyes with me. I know that he wouldn’t lie to me. Especially now. Now I know how Togami feels around Fukawa. Except I’m not a prick. Komaeda gives into my glare.  
“School. I sleep on the grass.”  
“So you burned down your entire house.”  
He looks to the side, avoiding the fierceness in my eyes.  
“Aren’t there the school dorms?”  
He tries to give another option to avoid the inevitability of what I’m going to say.  
“There are, but if you don’t blow them up, your luck will. The rumors about you aren’t exactly the most flattering, and I know that a lot of them aren't just rumors.”  
“They why are you going to…”  
“What, Komaeda?”  
“Send me to an orphanage?”  
What. Oh. That’s what he thought I was going to do? I’m shocked, honestly.  
“No. Why would I do that?”  
“After seeing me for this long, you’ve gotten sick of being in my presence. You want to send me away. Lowly insects like me shouldn't hang around such Hope as yourself.”  
It still irks me that he’s actually dishing out compliments. He needs to have a higher opinion of himself.  
“I wasn’t going to say that at all.”  
“Huh? Really?”  
“I was going to ask if you wanted to spend the night at my place for a while. We should have an extra futon, and I’m sure my mom would be okay with it.”  
He remains emotionless for a couple seconds, perhaps collecting his thoughts, considering how and in what way he should act.  
“Wow. I sure am lucky to be offered something like that from someone like you.” He says this while having one of those copy-and-paste grins. He sighs and looks apologetic, also, copy-and-pasted. “However, I have to decline.”  
“Why? You like sleeping on the dirt?”  
“Oh, it’s not like that. I just don’t want to hinder the Hope that you may bring. My very presence will mess up the beauty that you exert.”  
I grab his non-broken arm.  
“Don’t talk like that. I told you that my Hope is to help everybody. If you want to see my Hope from my eyes, you need to at least try.”  
A smirk slowly creeps across his face. His laugh is slow at first, but it quickly gains pace. It’s more of a hearty laugh compared to his throat giggles. Those spirals reformed.  
“You’re brilliant, Naegi-kun! Even Hoping that someone as insignificant and worthless as myself can have Hope of my own! It’s brilliant! You truly are the Ultimate Hope!”  
I quickly let go of his arm. Did I just offer to let this guy into my house? I’m scared. But it’s too late for that.  
“Sure! I’ll spend the night. I’ll be fun, I’m sure.”  
No. It’s my duty, now, to make this person into a better one. I have to get him to understand what’s right or wrong. It’s what I have to do.

“So this is your house, Naegi-kun?” He laughs softly. “It’ll be hard to keep track of all the Naegi-kuns and -sans, won’t it?”  
“Well, they have first names. My sister’s is Komaru.”  
“Komaru-san, then.”  
Oh she’s definitely not going to like that.  
“Your house is a bit small, Naegi-kun.”  
Small? “How big was yours?”  
“Well, it was my parent’s house, originally. It had two bedrooms, three guest bedrooms, and six bathrooms.”  
That’s gigantic. In this neighborhood?  
“And you lived there by yourself?”  
“Who else would I be with?”  
That’s kinda sad, actually. Wait a second…  
“How did you pay for the upkeep?”  
“Oh, when I was a kid, I was kidnapped by a murderer and shoved into a trash bag. It had a winning lottery ticket!” He laughs nonchalantly, as if it were nothing.  
“How much money would that have to be?”  
“Hm…A couple hundred million yen, I think.”  
“A couple hundred million?! What happened to all that?! Couldn’t you just buy another house?”  
“While I was at the hospital, somebody hacked my account and stole all of it. There weren’t even any traces left.”  
I’m just glad I don’t have his luck. Well, I have my own kind of luck. Being around him.  
“Well, let’s just go in then.”  
I slip a key into the lock and open the door only to have Komaru charge at me.  
“Brother! You’re ho—Eh? Who’s this?”  
“My name is Nagito Komaeda. You brother has spoken of you, Komaru-san.”  
I’ve just spoken of her. Not spoken highly of her. Just spoken of her.  
Komaru glares at me like I did something horribly wrong. Oh crap, he actually used her first name. Komaeda recognizes this and absolutely fails to correct himself.  
“Would you prefer Komaru _-kun_? Or perhaps _-chan_?”  
Komaru yanks me by the arm and whispers into my ear, “Makoto, who the hell is this guy?”  
I whisper back. “He’s a bit weird, but I don’t think he has bad intent. Maybe a little destructive. But not a bad intent.”  
She lets go of me and sighs. “So are you a Ultimate student, Komaeda-kun?”  
“I’m just your average student who goes to Hope’s Peak.”  
“You’re a reserve course student?”  
He looks insulted, the accepts it. “I’m the same level.”  
“He’s a year older than me. He’s the Ultimate Luck.”  
“Huh? But aren’t you the…”  
“There’s two of us.”  
She doesn’t get it, but just shrugs it off. “Okay, then.”  
“Are Mom and Dad around?”  
“Dad’s not home yet, but Mom’s here.”  
“I need to…have a talk with them.”

We end up sitting on the two couches, Komaeda next to me, Komaru next to my mother. My mother clasps her hands together.  
“Of course you can spend the night for a while.”  
Komaeda bows a bit.  
“Thank you very much, Naegi-san.” He lifts his head. “I’m quite good at cleaning. It’s really the only thing I’m good at.”  
“Don’t worry about the cleaning. I always end up doing it, anyways.” She gives Komaru and I the stink-eye. “You don’t have any relatives?”  
“I’m afraid not.”  
“Well, you can be part of our family for a while, Komaeda-kun.”  
He bows his head again.  
“It would be an honor, Naegi-san.”

Komaeda helped my mother make dinner. With someone actually taking him through the steps, I don’t think he’ll destroy anything. I thought he’d be a bit more rash, saying unnecessary things about Hope, but it really hasn’t been that bad. I’m honestly relieved. The food was good, too. Although I do feel a bit bad about it now, considering he did all that with one arm.  
Nightfall is now upon us. I lay in my bed, wearing my pyjamas for the first time in what seems like years. Usually, I just sleep in my underwear, but I’m not going to do that when someone else is sleeping in that futon on the ground.  
Yes. My mother thought it was a good idea to put the futon on the ground of my room. All I can do is lay here praying he doesn’t say anything weird. I feel bad for him, but why’d I do this to myself?  
I curl up into a ball and the light switch suddenly turns on, blinding me for a short while. I roll over, irritated.  
Expectedly, it’s Komaeda. Unexpectedly, he’s just in his boxers. They’re checkered. Well, he also has his arm sling. He looks a bit strange as his normally puffed hair is weighed down by the burden of water droplets. He’s quite pale.  
“Good night, Naegi-kun.”  
I roll over again.  
“Go to sleep.”  
He turns off the light, closes the door and I presume he gets into his futon.  
“Hey, Naegi-kun.”  
“I’m trying to sleep.”  
“How would you feel if I went into Komaru’s room and stabbed her?”  
 _What? What did he just say?_  
“What would you do? Seek revenge? Forgive me? How would you overcome that Despair with your Hope?”  
I get out my bed instantaneously.  
“What are you saying?”  
“It was just a hypothetical situation. I wouldn’t do anything without asking you first. After all, it’s your Hope, not mine.” He pulls the edge of the blanket closer to himself. That cackle banshee banter echoes softly through the room. I can’t see him clearly, but I know if the light were turned on, his eyes would remain the same color. Pitch black. “Good night, Naegi-kun. Sleep tight.”  
I fall back onto my bed and face the wall, away from him. I exhale deeply and close my eyes. Why am I letting him do this? Why did I just let him get away with threatening to stab Komaru? How did I just accept that? Do I know he won’t do it? He would if he needed to, I know that. He could kill somebody, definitely.  
Yet I’m facing away from him, not scared at all. Is this trust? Do I trust him that well?  
No. I know him too well. His Hope never falters. He does have his own Hope, as much as he’d like to deny it. His Hope is the same as mine, really. Creating Hope in others. We’re not that different, really, us lucky students. Then why…No. We are different. No matter the Hope, if the means are wrong, then it becomes Despair.  
I see…that’s how it is…

I feel something soft on my arm. Something heavy on my back. Someone is breathing on my neck.  
Someone is on my bed, gripping me.  
Everything within me chokes up and in that instant, I recognize how vulnerable I am. Whoever this is, they’re really gripping to me.  
Who is this? Is it…He wouldn’t do this…I begin to tremble. He could do anything. I don’t even know what he’s capable of. No. I’m not even sure if it’s him. It’s not like I can see anything. It’s too dark. I can…ask.  
“Who are…”  
From their sleep, I hear a soft mumble. It’s difficult to make out the owner of the voice, but I can hear it clearly.  
“Ko…ma…”  
I take a stilted breath inwards. Well, at least I know who it is now. He hasn’t done anything, so I think I can go back to sleep. I guess I’ll see in the morning.

I’m awakened by the incessant ringing of my alarm clock. I roll over and slam my hand on it to shut it up. I stretch my whole body out on the bed, the single blanket helping keep me warm clustered up in a bunch by the footboard. I let out a loud yawn and hoist myself up, dangling my feet over the edge of the bed.  
I rub my eyes in a sorry attempt to wake myself up and notice that Komaeda is still asleep, tightly clutching the blanket that surrounds him. I hop onto the floor and give him a shake. He rolls over to look at me and slowly lifts his eyelids.  
“Good morning, Naegi-kun.”  
“Get up, it’s time for school.”  
He leans upwards off the floor, rubbing his temple with the base of his free palm. His hair is a disoriented mess. I always thought that he just didn’t brush it, but obviously, that’s not the case. It’s flat in the back, like he had slept on his shoulders. The other strands stick up in all sorts of ways. I can’t really complain, though, because I have one strand where no matter what I do, it always goes back to the same spot. Komaru has one, too. Maybe it’s hereditary.  
I sit on the bed.  
“Hey, Komaeda. Did you…have any dreams last night?”  
“Nope. None at all. Why do you ask? Oh, is it about that time when someone came in here? I’m a light sleeper. When they opened the door, it woke me up.”  
Wait…It wasn’t Komaeda? Who was it?!  
“AAH!”  
Komaru slams open the already partially open door and calls out, “Makoto! Are you okay?!”  
“Huh?”  
She blinks a single time.  
“You screamed. What was that about?”  
Eh…No…It couldn’t be…  
“Komaru, did you have dreams last night?”  
She relaxes a bit, pressing her index finger onto the bottom of her lip.  
“Now that you mention it, I had one where you were captured by an evil witch and I came to the rescue and saved you!”  
Glad to know she thinks highly of me.  
“Did you come into my room?”  
She pouts a bit.  
“I went to the bathroom once.”  
“In my room?”  
“No!”  
I’m just relieved to know that my sister loves me, and that it wasn’t…I look at Komaeda. Sitting down, he looks up and me and smiles. Well, you know…

We ended up letting him borrow some of my father’s clothing. He was okay with it. He seemed happy that I brought a friend home. It was a white dress shirt and black pants. Komaeda said that it was too formal, but it was really the only thing we could let him borrow.  
We said goodbye to Komaru, and now we’re walking our way to school. I’m just happy that Hope’s Peak isn’t too far. Some people have to move from other countries to go here.  
“Hey, Komaeda. Don’t you have the Ultimate Princess in your class?”  
“If you mean Sonia Nevermind-san, then yes. I don’t know her too well, though.”  
“Who _do_ you know well?”  
“No one, really. I don’t want to interfere with their Hope.”  
Back to Hope. Everything leads back to Hope.  
“You should get some more friends.”  
“More?” He laughs softly. “I’m sorry to say that I’m quite the loner. I thought you’d figure that out by now.”  
I walk a bit fast and stop right in front of him, forcing him to pause. I furrow my brow.  
“Do I have to say it?”  
He looks downwards at me. He doesn’t get it.  
“You’re my friend. And I’m yours.”


	4. Lunchtime with Friends

Lunchtime with Friends

It’s lunchtime now. I stand by that tree, waiting for a certain someone to arrive. We walked here this morning, but we have different classes, considering he’s a second-year. I haven’t seen him since that conversation. I’m going to find him another friend.  
I see the tendrils of white poke up from beyond the hill and I run to greet him.  
“Komaeda!”  
“Is there something wrong, Naegi-kun?”  
“We’re going to eat somewhere else today.”  
“Somewhere else?”  
“C’mon.”  
I grab his arm and drag him over to the cafeteria. Maybe if he’s around some of the first years he won’t feel as oppressed. And plus, they probably don’t know about that incident. Kirigiri told me about it yesterday at school. Evidently, last year, he was suspended. Being Kirigiri, she skipped out on the details. If I get a chance, I’ll bring him to her, and he can tell me himself.  
I open the cafeteria door and sit right next to Fujisaki, Ishimaru, and…  
“Ishimaru-kun, where’s Oowada-kun?”  
“He’s off ‘punching some brat in’. I told him that fighting was unacceptable and that he should eat his lunch, but he insisted that it would be for the better of the entire school.”  
“Ah, I see.”  
“Is this Oowada-kun the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader I’ve heard about?”  
“Yeah. He’s one of my classmates. He’s…not bad at heart.”  
“I do not believe that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you!” Ishimaru dramatically stands up and presses his fists up against his sides, very stoically. “My name is Ishimaru Kiyotaka! My motto is Simplicity and Fortitude! Let’s work together and study hard!”  
Komaeda laughs softly. “I’m Komaeda Nagito. May I ask what your talent is?”  
“Ultimate Moral Compass!”  
More like Ultimate Yeller.  
“I see. And you?”  
He motions to the small child shuttering next to Ishimaru.  
“My name is Fujisaki Chihiro. I’m the Ultimate Computer Programmer. I’m not really good at introductions…Sorry.”  
“Don’t worry. Everyone here is much more talented than I could possibly dream of being. Trash like me—Ow…”  
I nudge him in the chest. He reels a back. It probably hurt. He smiles at me, but I give him the stink-eye.  
“What’s your talent, Komaeda-kun?”  
It’s Fujisaki with her whimpering voice.  
“Ah, it’s a bit lousy compared to everyone else’s here…”  
Does he say this to everybody? It’s like a pre-planned speech.  
“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”  
“My talent is luck.”  
Ishimaru and Fujisaki blink once. Then they blink again. Then they stare right at me. I hold up my hands in protest.  
“What? It’s not my fault.”  
“Komaeda-kun! It’s not appropriate to insult your underclassmen!”  
“Well, you see, Naegi isn’t lucky like me. He’s the Ultimate H—”  
As if a meteor sent straight from God, a hand slams open the dual cafeteria doors with the most intense force one could imagine. The most intense corn-cob hair shortly follows.  
“OKAY. WHERE IS THAT F—” What shortly follows is filled with every kind of curse word one can imagine. It’s stream of the most insulting, stammering and shouting that could possibly be spit out from somebody’s hatehole.  
The room is filled with absolute silence, like the waves pulling back before a tsunami. Then, like a tsunami does, Oowada charges through the cafeteria, full rage, and full throttle. He ends up bumping into a bunch of people, causing a domino effect of sorts. All hell breaks loose and I’m sitting here wondering how it all started in the first place.  
I look to my side and notice Komaeda trembling, covering his ears. It is really loud in here, Ishimaru standing on the table, attempting to form order, food being thrown only to be caught midair by this thinly dressed gymnastic woman. I think I remember him mentioning once that he hates noisy places. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought him here. I grab him by the shoulders and attempt to lead him out, which is admittedly difficult when that someone is twenty centimeters taller than you.  
When we’re finally outside, I let out a deep breath. From within the cafeteria, I hear yelling, screaming, and various other noises. Komaeda seems to have calmed down for the most part.  
“I’m sorry about that. I know somewhere quieter where we can eat.”  
“Ah no, it’s fine. Seeing so many people with such amazing talents with so much capacity for Hope helped me overcome the noise a bit. I wonder what the outcome of this brutality will be. Surely the Despair of Oowada-san will bring about a wonderful Hope.”  
Ugh. He’s talking like this again.  
A man wearing a blue uniform with dark grey hair pushes his way between us and into the cafeteria. Just before he enters, he stops a second and he locks eyes with Komaeda.  
“Hello, Sakakura-san.”  
The man apparently named Sakakura grimaces back at the boy and continues on into the cafeteria. I look at Komaeda to get some context, but he just smiles at me.  
“What was that about?”  
“Oh, he’s the head of security. I’ll tell you about it some other time.”  
That’s definitely suspicious. It probably has something to do with that suspension. Well, I know where to go now. I start walking to our next destination and Komaeda follows.  
“Could you understand Oowada-kun’s rant? I thought I heard a name somewhere in there.”  
“Ah, it was Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko-san. Oowada-san said that he was looking for him.”  
“Kuzuryuu? You don’t mean _that_ Kuzuryuu?”  
“Ultimate Yakuza. Who else? He’s a classmate of mine.”  
“Why, though? Well, they both are gang members, so I guess it makes sense.”  
I look up upwards and see the inscription indicating a classroom. I slide open the door. We walk into a science room and there is Kirigiri sitting on a table, reading a book. She looks up for a second, acknowledging my existence.  
“Hello, Kirigiri-san.”  
She closes the book with one hand and stands up from the desk. She immediately walks towards Komaeda and inspects him like a piece of merchandise.  
“Komaeda Nagito. That is your name,” She looks upwards at him, “correct?”  
“Yes. That is my name. You are…”  
“Kirigiri Kyoko.”  
“Ah, the detective.”  
“Yes.”  
They stare a good couple minutes at each other, like they’re observing everything, analyzing every last strand of hair on the other’s head.  
“Naegi-kun. Let’s go.”  
He turns around, walking to leave.  
“How did you do it?”  
He stops in his place. He turns around smiling.  
“Haha…Do what?  
Kirigiri sighs. She takes careful steps towards him.  
“You know very well what.”  
“I just happened to misplace the bombs down in front of the reserve department. I never blew them up. I didn’t set them up. I didn't even touch them. I know you knew that the moment I set eyes upon you.”  
Huh? That explosion last year was…Komaeda’s fault?  
“What’s going on?!”  
“Komaeda-kun. I won’t turn you in. I don’t seek justice. I seek the truth.”  
He sighs, as if he’s going to tell an embarrassing story. Then, he brightens up a bit and begins to explain. “Last year, there occurred the murder of Kuzuryuu Natsumi. Fuyuhiko-san, being her brother, was very depressed, causing a wave of Despair to usher throughout our entire class. We couldn't do midterms in that state. I urged our teacher to reconsider, and she told me that she was in no power to change them. So, I took matters into my own hands.”  
“I see. How did you know someone else would set up the bombs for you? Was it blackmail? Coercion?”  
“Oh, nothing of the sort! I just trusted in my luck.”  
“Your luck?”  
“Well, it is the only reason I’m here!” After realizing that she wasn't going to get much more of an explanation, Kirigiri urged him to continue. “I brought my bag to school, filled to the brim with bombs that someone left my doorstep.”  
“Someone just left them on your doorstep?!”  
“Yeah. Stuff like that happens all the time. So, anyways, I lost them as I walking past the reserve course building. I always walk past there to remind myself how grateful I should be that garbage like me gets to go to the main course.”  
You didn’t need to add that.  
“So you lost the bag full of bombs, yet they became within the possession of a reserve course student with enough hatred to use them.”  
“Exactly! They don’t call you the Ultimate Detective for nothing. You really have such strong Hope. Actually, at first, I had a different plan that involved laxatives and this Maizono magazine, but since I lost the bombs, I couldn’t exactly do that. I still have it, if you want it, Naegi-kun.”  
“No!” Well, I kinda do want it. I did lose one around that time, last year.  
He laughed, then continues, “Once I realized that Kuzuryuu-san’s murderer had not been caught, I knew that my luck would get the bombs into her hands. Sato. That was her name. She was expelled instead of me, I remember. It was someone who had the means to destroy, and someone with the Despair to do it. I’m so glad to have this luck!” He begins that cackle thing, but then stops to sigh. “Despite all that, my teacher knew I had a part in it, so I was suspended for a month.”  
“I see, so that is the truth.” She closes her eyes and holds them there for a second, before walking forcefully out of the room.  
It’s just Komaeda and I, standing alone in the room. He looks down at me, and I look up at him. He isn’t smiling. Instead, it’s emotionless and cold. We wait like this, as if waiting for that bell to ring and for us just to part ways only to have the awkward silence that was in store for us when we go home. I’m sad. I’m disappointed. I wanted to believe that he wouldn’t do something like that. I wanted to believe that he was the person I was determined to make better that very first day.  
What am I thinking? I can’t give up here. My chance is when the tissue is weak, when the tension is at its strongest. But…I don’t know what to do. It’s my chance, but I’m lost. There’s nothing to say. Nothing I can tell him that would ever change his mind. And for that, I’m not angry. I’m sad. I can’t do anything when someone needs it the most. It’s my fault for that. Just mine.  
“What are you going to do? Slap me? My teacher did that. I don’t blame you for being angry. Instead, I applaud you for not doing so earlier. Such is expected at the Ultimate Hope. Imagine all the ways that you could have hurt me by now…Imagine what Hope could be brought out of that! But instead, you’ve put your faith in me, and I’ve betrayed you for it. Do you feel that Despair? Overcome it with the most shining…What are you doing? You shouldn’t touch me. I'm gross and disgusting. My worthlessness may rub off on you.  
…You’re gripping rather roughly.”  
“Komaeda. I’m not mad at all. I forgive you. I know you can be better than that.”  
He pauses for a second as if he stopped breathing. Then, like a tornado, it gradually gains speed until I think he’s going to hyperventilate. He pushes away from me and starts to tremble. He puts a hand to his face and begins that smirk.  
Oh god, what did I do?  
“I-I-I…”  
Suddenly, he takes the deepest inhale one can imagine. And he’s back to normal. Well, as normal as Komaeda can get.  
“I’ll try my best.”  
I grab his one hand with two of mine.  
“That’s all I’ve ever asked for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to know why Oowada was storming around the school for Fuyuhiko:
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8007691


	5. Karaoke

Karaoke

While we were walking home, I got a text.  
_Maizono: We’re going to Karaoke tonight, wanna’ come?_  
I look to the boy at my side.  
_Naegi: Can I bring a friend?_  
I’m still dead set on finding at least one other person who won’t be horribly repulsed Komaeda. I don’t know if I’ll find them here, but I’m sure as hell going to try.

So when the time arrived, we went to the small building where the Karaoke was to take place. I’ve been to Karaoke before, but the Ultimate Idol singing her own songs? It must be strange seeing your own songs in the roster. I wonder how Komaeda is at singing. His voice is a bit raspy at times, but I guess you can’t really gauge it from that.  
We walk in and are guided to a large room in the back. I wonder how many people are going to show up. She didn’t really specify, but I assume it’s a lot. When we enter the room, there are already two people there. One, of course, is the lovely blue-haired Maizono. Perhaps more elegantly, a girl, or shall I say, woman, sits next to her. She has delicate blonde hair and is dressed in a fine gown. There’s something just so intrinsically stunning about her.  
“Ah, hello, Sonia-san.”  
She’s the Ultimate Princess? No wonder, then.  
“Nice to see you again, Komaeda-san.”  
That’s right. They’re both in the same class.  
“I have come to experience this ‘Karaoke’ thing y’all have referred to.”  
“…Y’all?”  
“Oh? Did I conjugate that incorrectly? I apologize from the bottom of my feet.”  
I think it’s ‘heart’.  
“I have invited Nanami-san, if you do not mind, Maizono-san.”  
“She told me already. She’s actually bringing a friend of her own. It’ll be a party.”  
“A party! How wonderful!”  
So while we wait for Nanami to arrive, we ate some food and talked a bit. Evidently, Sonia had asked Mioda Ibuki, the Ultimate Light Musician to go to Karaoke, who redirected her to Maizono. She was going to come, but couldn’t due to a concert.  
I think I’m starting to understand why Komaeda is so fond about being surrounded by all these amazing people. I feel a bit worthless just being lucky. I slap my face. No. I have to be positive. Maybe I have a different purpose here. At the very least I can help somebody become a better person.  
“Is there something wrong, Naegi-kun?”  
It’s Komaeda, who’s sitting right next to me.  
“You were staring at me for a while.”  
I quickly look off into some other direction to avert my gaze. The door opens up and two people walk in. One has pink hair and a cat bag, the other has a hair-antenna like mine. It’s a bit more spiky, though. They sit next to Komaeda.  
“G’day to you, Nanami-san.”  
She looks like she just woke up from a nap because her response was delayed.  
“G’morning, Sonia-san.”  
She points her finger up into the air as if remembering something trivial.  
“This is Hinata-kun. He’s my friend.”  
“Ah, hello.”  
He sounds uncomfortable.  
After we give our introductions, the subject of talents comes up. The question everyone was asking, but nobody wanted to say props up from Komaeda’s mouth.  
“Hinata-kun. What is your talent?”  
The room flicks off into silence. Everyone stares at him, Komaeda inquisitively, Sonia passively, Nanami worried.  
“Well, I already told you that I’m the Ultimate Gamer.”  
Nanami speaks hastily. Is she trying to cover something?  
Hinata bites his lip and looks down at his lap.  
“I…I actually go to a normal high-school. I’m just…Nanami-san’s friend.”  
I felt something tickle my leg. Something climbing up my back and breathing down my neck. I didn't even have to look to know what it was. Plastered onto Komaeda’s face would be that horrible that has the façade of a smile, and like covering someone’s head plastic wrap, it would strangle anyone who dared look.  
“Komaeda, can I speak to you for a second?”  
“What for?”  
Determined, I grab his arm and pull him out of the room so that the other’s can’t hear us. I close the door shut and Komaeda puts a hand to his face, obviously annoyed.  
“What did you want?”  
“I want to ask something of you.”  
He looks at me, like he already knows what it is, but wants me to tell him anyways.  
“Don’t be rude to Hinata-kun.”  
“I’m disappointed that someone like Hinata-kun thinks he can be friends with the Ultimates. You all are so far superior to people like him, he should go back with the scum he came from!”  
I held back the urge to slap him.  
“And that is exactly why I brought you out here. You said that you’d try your hardest, and I want you to do exactly that. You said that to reach Hope you needed to overcome something. This is what you need to overcome.”  
“Naegi-kun. I don’t even know why you’re bothering with someone as puny and insignificant as he is. Imagine what else you could be doing with that Hope!”  
“You’re wrong. That’s because this is my Hope. Even if it’s just a single person, I want to be able to brighten their day. Even if that person thinks that they are pathetic and worthless, I want to be able to convince them that they can become something more if they put the effort into it. Remember how rude you were to me at first? You said yourself that you were wrong. That someone like me can have such a brilliant Hope.”  
Komaeda stands completely still. Maybe…Did he want me to say all that? To use my optimism? He doesn’t seem angry at all. I think he’s doing the jittery thing. I’m a bit scared, honestly.  
“Naegi-kun.” I look up at him. “I really love your Hope.”  
Love? Did I hear that right? My face flushes red a little bit. Surely he didn’t mean it in that way. This _is_ Komaeda, after all.  
He laughs.  
“I’ll try to be a bit nicer.”  
I sigh. I just wish that his version of ‘nice’ is the same as mine.  
So when we get back into the room, I make sure that I’m the one to sit next to Hinata. Things proceed rather smoothly, Komaeda just keeping his mouth shut, and Maizono goes up and decides to sing.  
It’s stunning, really. When I’m put into a situation like this, I can really get Komaeda’s reasoning a lot better. These Ultimates are so talented and amazing at what they do, it’s a bit intimidating. I only was allowed to come here by chance. A lottery. I should be just like Hinata. Going to a normal high-school. Komaru’s going to go to one. What makes me any different than her?  
I’m drawn out of my trance when Maizono’s song ends and Sonia fumbles around with the sonn-picking device. She accidentally picks one and it begins to play. I hear a humming next to me.  
“Komaeda, do you know this song?”  
He looks at me like he doesn’t understand. “You really don’t want to hear me sing.”  
Sonia’s eyes lit up.  
“Komaeda-san, are you going to sing for us?”  
Nanami balls her hands up into fists.  
“Yeah, yeah.”  
Hinata speaks now. “I’m sure you aren’t all that bad.”  
That comment instantly sets him off. I swear I can hear the words, ‘try to be nice, try to be nice…’ repeating in some horrible mantra emanating from inside his mind. He hastily grabs the mic and bursts out into song.  
I don’t realize until I actually pay attention to the lyrics, but…I think he’s singing to me. Seriously, these lyrics aren’t subtle in any way at all. Thankfully, I don’t think anyone else realizes it. Maybe, this is a product of his luck? Or maybe my luck.  
I choke a bit. This is lucky? Having this guy sing to me? I’m more unlucky when you think about it. Still, I’m glad that he has at least one friend now. It’s kinda embarrassing when it’s put so bluntly like this. I’m glad to have met him.  
Komaeda parts his lips for the last verse and the song is drawn to a close. I almost leap onto my feet and give him a big, hearty hug, but then I remember where I am.  
Everyone else wait a second before reacting. They were stunned, weren’t they? I have this kind of complacent pride for my friend and his voice.  
“Komaeda-kun, that was amazing!” Such enthusiasm from Nanami. “I think.” Oh.  
“You have an excellent voice, Komaeda-kun. Have you ever considered taking vocal lessons?”  
Komaeda looks down at his hand.  
“All these compliments are too much for me. I’m nobody special. I just like this song a lot, that’s all.”  
“Really, it sounded good.”  
Oh no. Whenever Hinata says anything, I feel like the room is going to blow up. Just this tension of anger vibrates the very earth where Komaeda stands.  
“Hinata-kun. Would you like to try?”  
This catches him off guard. It catches me off guard, too. Just what is Komaeda trying to do?  
“Uh…Um…Maybe some other time. I’m not gre…” Everyone just stares at him. “Okay, okay. I’ll do it.”  
Komaeda passes the microphone to him, and he chooses something.  
Hinata isn’t the best singer in the world, but he isn’t the worst, either. Just kinda…Meh. Even still, something about the way he does it, it’s…what’s the right word…Courageous. He puts in such an effort, you just want to clap once he’s done.  
While he’s doing his thing, Komaeda sits right next to me. For the most part, he’s quiet, but then, in the middle of the song, he leans right next to me and whispers into my ear, “Do you hear it? That sound?”  
What is he talking about?  
“That’s how the normal person sounds. Do you hear that emptiness, that lack of Hope?”  
I elbow him as hard as I can into his ribcage. I’m not that strong, so it shouldn't damage anything, but it should have hurt. And that was my goal.  
I hear an unenthusiastic grunt from the boy to my side.  
“What about being nice? You said you’d try.”  
He stops whispering insults after that. Instead it’s something else.  
“You taught me one thing, Naegi-kun. Everybody can have Hope. Hinata-kun has something, within. Even if it’s minute and insignificant, it’s something.”

The rest of the evening went by pretty much as expected. Nothing horrible, nothing great. That’s how it is when you go out with people.  
When Komaeda and I return home, he ends up lying on the futon and I on my bed.  
We both stare at the ceiling a while.  
We both nod off and fall asleep. I swear I can feel someone clinging to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have zero ideas where to go from this.
> 
> (If anyone has any suggestions…)


	6. You're…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have ideas now.

You’re…

“So I was walking around the mall, because I have nothing better to do, and I remembered that I needed some new clothing after I destroyed my last pair of pants. Oil gets set on fire really quickly, okay?!”  
“Did you get it?”  
“No. I hadn’t gotten it yet. I’m getting there, wait a sec’.”  
“Just hurry it up.”  
“Well, I was walking around, by the clothing store and I spot something out of the corner of my eye.  
That white hair, it’s unmistakable. It was Komaeda! He’s terrifying, okay? He was laughing like it nothing, like he wasn't having disgusting thoughts about…Hope. Ugh. Well, first I saw him, then I kinda snuck around because, well, you don’t see Komaeda outside school too often. Everything else he does usually ends in disaster, directly or not. Well, I’m sure you know.”  
“Get on with it!”  
“I am getting on with it! When I finally got a good look at him, I noticed there was someone with him. I knew it had to me his b…brother! Komaeda had a brother, who knew? I didn’t, obviously.”  
“No way he has a brother. I’m not falling for that bull-crap.”  
“C’mon! He had the antennae-hair thing, he was passive-looking. He was a bit shorter…Okay, a lot, but they looked alike, okay!”  
“Could you say ‘okay’ a bit more?”  
“Okay.”  
“…”  
“AAAAA! I’m sorry! Won’t do it again!”  
“So what the hell were they doing if it’s _that_ important?”  
“They were having a long, thoughtful discussion.”  
“About…”  
“I heard the words ‘luck’ and ‘Hope’ a couple times throughout it.”  
“Predictable.”  
“Then, all of the sudden, Komaeda’s brother grabbed his arm and started dragging him around the store. Then, he grabbed something off the shelves, I think it was a pair of shorts, and then shoved it into his jacket. I know what that means when I see it.”  
“Oh, and I forgot, you’re the expert at shoplifting.”  
“Well I’m sorry I’m not the Ultimate Yakuza.”  
“We don’t need to shoplift, you moron.”  
“Then how come you asked me to get--”  
“Shut up! You owed me a favor! Just continue with whatever the hell they were doing.”  
“I thought that they were brothers, but then they started trying clothing on. I don’t know brothers who’d do that with each other.”  
“What are you suggesting?”  
“Um...You know…”  
“Komaeda has a son?!”  
“...You know, I didn’t even consider that.”  
“Wait, wait wait. So then you’re saying that Komaeda is…”  
“Yeah.”  
“…”  
“Well, they paid for some other stuff, then walked across the detector thing without any hesitation. It didn’t go off, and they were scott free. I’m not surprised that Komaeda and his…’friend’...made it out of there without any repercussion. The monitor must have been broken. But then here’s the weird part. The short guy who took the shorts went back through the scanner.”  
“Why the hell would he do that?”  
“I have no frickin’ idea! That’s why I’m telling you this. It’s creeping me out. When he realized that the alarms weren’t going off, he got frustrated and then started waving the shorts up and down until one of the clerks came by and asked what he was doing. Luckily, I could hear what he was saying this time. He told them that their system was broken and that they needed to fix it. The clerk was very confused, and seemed to mistake him as one of those people who shoplifts for the company to check if the people working there are doing their jobs or something like that.”  
“You seem to doubt it.”  
“Well, he looked like he was ten years old. Definitely a kid, and definitely suspicious if he’s hanging out with Komaeda. Don’t get me wrong. No one hangs around Komaeda.”  
“And I wonder sometimes why I hang around you.”  
“Shut up!”  
“So what were they doing?”  
“I still don’t know. But some weird stuff started happening after that. I followed them out of the store and they walked around the mall for a bit. Then, from out of nowhere, the police storm the building.”  
“You were in that mall?”  
“You heard about it? Was it really that big?”  
“When the police are involved, I am, too. It’s not like I have much of a choice. And it’s not like it _wasn’t_ publicized like crazy. When a guy pulls a gun out like that, something’s bound to go wrong.”  
“Hey! You’re ruining the suspense!”  
“I already know what happens.”  
“Just listen.”  
“…”  
“C’mon.”  
“Fine.”  
“Yes! Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, I was following Komaeda and his friend and then I see this guy bumping into all sorts of things like he’s drunk. He stumbles around for a bit before approaching Komaeda’s friend. He tries to help the guy, but being the drunk idiot he was, he took it as offense and pulled a gun on the poor sucker. You got your generic scream and the whole mall is silent. Now here’s the strange part. Komaeda’s reaction.”  
“What about it? Did he do a Hope monologue?”  
“Um…Kinda? He made this terrifying expression. It’s a bit hard to describe. Then, he started drooling and saying something about Hope. I didn’t quite follow it. Anyways, the drunk guy had his gun at the friend, but now he switched it to Komaeda, who just laughed at him, stating that his luck would guide him through it.”  
“Typical.”  
“Well, at that exact moment, the cops showed up and jumped on him. Literally.”  
“Literally?”  
“It was like a dogpile.”  
“Wow.”  
“Oh yeah, and that security guy was there.”  
“Security guy?”  
“The one who storms around school all day. Grey hair, purple eyes? Saka…kata…something…”  
“Oh, I know that guy. Why was he there?”  
“He was angry about something, but when he made eye-contact with Komaeda, all hell broke loose. He kept yelling at the cops that it was his fault and threatened to punch him. He kept yelling insults at him. Komaeda’s friend tried to restrain him, but that didn’t end too well. In all the chaos, the drunk guy started to run away, ironically directly at Komaeda’s friend, effectively tripping them both over. The police used this to capture him, leaving the security guy to just ramble away. I don’t know what happened to him.”  
“So then what happened after that?”  
“Komaeda recognized me.”  
“And…”  
“I ran. After that, no waaaaaaaay I’m getting near him.”  
“So did you ever get them?”  
“Well…You see…”  
“If I don’t have those magazines by Friday, I’m going to fu—”  
“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Calm down, buddy.”  
“Buddy?”  
“Yeah.”  
“What are you? A fifth grader?”  
“You look like one.”  
“…Did you…”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“This is why Sonia doesn’t like you.”  
“ _Don’t even say that!_ ”  
“Just the truth.”  
“WHAAAAA!”

I’m just going to pretend that I didn’t hear this conversation.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who said this switched out of first person?
> 
> In case you were curious, Souda owed Kuzuryuu cooking magazines because Kuzuryuu was too shy to buy them himself. He wanted to help Peko sometime without looking like an idiot.


	7. Everybody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Komaegi is canon.  
> I had to pause the episode so I could take in the glory.

Everybody

When Komaeda’s whole house burnt to the ground, it took all his clothes with it. So, naturally, I took him to get some new ones. It doesn’t help that he treats 90% of the populace like a horse’s crap.  
When we got there, Komaeda stopped me and told me something.  
“Naegi-kun. It’s been like this for a while, but I’m nervous about something.”  
“What?”  
“I really don’t want to burden you and your Hope, but my luck is bound to get in the way at some point. Spending this much time with you…surely the world sees this as good luck.”  
“Well…Maybe we could counteract it somehow?”  
“Counteract? Do you mean creating bad luck?”  
“Exactly! We just have to do something bad and get caught. That way, you won’t have to worry about your luck at all.”  
“I don’t want to get you into trouble. No, in fact, I’m sure your Hope could never allow anything truly full of Despair to reach you!”  
“We’re in public, you know.”  
“Oh, sorry.”  
I tried to take a pair of shorts, but that completely backfired, ending up with good luck instead. So far, our plan had failed.  
Then that guy pulled a gun on me. And then the cops showed up.  
Yet we still made it out okay. I sincerely accept that I could have died, then and there, however, I’m glad I had Komaeda there. Even if all he did was that laugh, it inadvertently saved me. Now that I think about it, he must have done it on purpose. To draw attention away from me. Despite his outer shell, he’s pretty smart. He must have had faith that his luck would save himself. It’s almost as if he threw himself in front of the gun.  
Wow.  
That’s…heartwarming…

Or not. This _is_ Komaeda we’re talking about.

The strangest thing was the security guy, Sakakura Juzo. That was his name, if I remember correctly. Why was he even there? I guess I’ll find out sooner or later.

Komaeda and I decide to eat lunch at our usual spot, under that tree. It’s a bit muddy, due to the light drizzle, but we don’t care too much.  
So when we begin to have “discussions” about Hope, we are not expecting a hyper-energetic girl to come running up to us.  
“You’re Makoto-chan, right?”  
Ch…Chan? Makoto, too?!  
My expression must be one of utter shock, because she puts her hand to her forehead and leans way in.  
“Naegi Makoto, right?”  
“Yeah. That’s me.”  
“Oh! Hi Nagito-chan!”  
N-N-Nagito? I don’t even call him that! (Should I?)  
“Ah, Mioda-san. Nice to see you.”  
“Oh yeah. Ibuki wanted to ask you something.”  
Ibuki? I look around. Is she acting on behalf of someone?  
“What was it like having a gun to your head?”  
What?  
“Um…Huh?”  
Another psycho?  
What was I expecting?  
“Was the adrenaline pumping?! Were you screaming for your life?!”  
“Well, maybe the adrenaline…Why?”  
“Ibuki’s writing a new song! She’s going to title it, ‘Ahoge and his Boyfriend’s Rampage Through the Mall’! Ibuki is fine with Girl Love, so BL gets an A-Ok, too!”  
“Wa-wa-wa-wait a second! It’s not like that! He’s just…” a friend.  
Why can’t I say it. I mouth the words a couple times, but there’s just nothing.  
Komaeda doesn’t take this too well. He does that thing where he stares at his hand and contemplates life.  
“Someone as great as Naegi-kun would never have that kind of relationship with me. I’m lucky as it is for him to consider me as a friend.”  
He looks a bit too depressed saying that.  
Maybe…No…I can’t—  
“Gross. Mioda-neesan, what the hell are you talking to?”  
Another girl walks up the hill. She looks (and acts) like she’s ten. But she’s actually taller than me. That hurts my self-esteem.  
“Ew, weren’t you the ones to get almost shot by a gun? Should’ve pulled the trigger.”  
“I know!”  
Komaeda! Don’t _agree_ with her!  
More people start coming up the hill.  
“Hey! Naegi! What’s up!”  
Oowada.  
“Naegi-kun! I hope you are okay!”  
Ishimaru.  
“I-I-If you have a-any inj-injuries, you c-can ask me!”  
Chihiro? No, that’s Tsumiki.  
Why are there so many people on this hill? Why are more people coming here? I don’t even know half of these people. I feel like the whole school is here, asking us about the (almost) shooting.  
I never signed up for this.

Well, at least it makes me happy that all these people care about us. That all these people wanted to see if we were okay, to see how we handled a situation like that. Komaeda just kinda laughs it off when they ask him. His classmates don’t seem too fond of him, and neither do mine. Well, he doesn’t have the best reputation…  
I’ll find someone else…Hopefully.

That security guy, Sakakura, sees the crowd, everyone standing around the tree, with Komaeda and I the only ones sitting.  
“Hey! Get outta’ here! I don’t want to see any trouble!”  
Everyone scoffs at him, then he punches Oowada in the gut. There’s no effect.  
“Eh? What was that?”  
A flurry of punches and thrusts are thrown and everyone chants, “Fight! Fight!” about twice before Oowada gets his butt served on a platter. Everyone panics and runs away, leaving Komaeda and I, rather dumbfounded.  
Well, Komaeda is smiling.  
“I wonder what kind of Hope this stunning defeat will bring Oowada-kun!”  
I pat my hand on his shoulder.  
“Come on, Komaeda. We should probably go somewhere else.”  
Sakakura looks straight at us.  
“You two don’t have to leave.”  
“R…Really?”  
He looks out towards the main building, then turns his whole body around. Did he just…blush?  
“Stay out of trouble.”  
He walks off.

“What was that about?”  
Komaeda leans forwards and rests his head in his palms.  
“Even someone like Sakakura-kun has their own form of Hope. How they show it is what makes the difference.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the next chapter will be longer.


	8. To the Arcade

To the Arcade

So, I decided to take Komaeda somewhere safe. Please let it be safe. I’m begging you, celestial being. Please, no crashing meteors, no terrorists (besides the one I’m taking), no complete and utter bull crap.

Please.

Yesterday, Komaeda got his cast off. He says it feels fine, but I really doubt that. He doesn’t move it around too much, but his hand works fine.  
In honor of that, I’m taking him somewhere where he can finally put that hand to good use, and have some fun at the same time.

The arcade.

You know, Japan has amazing arcades. So many games of all sorts of genres, from all kinds of eras and styles.  
So then why does each match play out the same way?

Komaeda and I are neck-and-neck.  
Komaeda’s luck pulls out some sort of trump card, so I’m about to lose.  
I win by some odd miracle.

That happens.  
Every time.

So after a while, we get bored of the same results and decide to leave, when we spot someone. Well, more like I spot Komaeda’s contorted face of sheer disgust. It’s not really a face you see on him too often.  
It’s Nanami and Hinata.  
It makes sense. She _is_ the Ultimate Gamer, after all. And Hinata _is_ her friend, so it makes sense why he’d be around.  
Now, here’s a question. Approach or stay away?  
I look at Komaeda. He’s walking off into the other direction.  
That means approach.  
I grab Komaeda by his coat and drag him next to me.  
“Hey, Nanami-san! Hinata-kun!”  
They both look my way and wave. Hinata’s eyes widen and then look at Nanami. She gives him an expression telling him, ‘You better not run.’, and he just grimaces in response.  
“How are you today, Nanami-san?” Komaeda asks this, completely ignoring Hinata.  
“We’re fine, thank you.”, Hinata responds.  
“I don’t think I asked yo—”  
I elbow Komaeda in the chest. He reels over in pain, Nanami and Hinata looking at him as he crumbles to the floor.  
I really don’t like hitting him, I’d rather just tell him to stop. But, that’d just make him go on a rant, insulting Hinata even more.  
This is a much better option.  
He quickly gets back up again and laughs.  
Nanami balls her hands into fists and pushes herself right up against me. Her head pops up, glowing with excitement.  
“What games have you played? What games have you played?”  
“A little bit of everything.”  
“Ooh! I heard that they just installed a new fighting game, so we came to check it out! Wanna’ play? Wanna’ play?”  
“Sure! I’m sure Komaeda would love to, as well.”  
“Playing games with the Ultimate Gamer? I don’t think even my luck would let me win against someone like that.”  
“You could play against Hinata-kun.”  
I grab Komaeda’s wrist, preventing him from doing anything rash. He looks down at me, smiling a hateful smile.  
“I’d rather not.”

So we go over to the machine, and embroidered in large red and yellow letters is, “Street Fighter II”.  
“Um…This is new?”, Hinata says with great suspicion.  
“Yeah, they just put it in yesterday.”  
“This game is like 20 years old.”  
“25.”  
Hinata glares at Nanami, who looks back, straight-faced. She walks forwards, and puts some coins into the machine.  
“Who wants to be player 2?”  
Hinata walks up and starts pressing some buttons. He picks this martial artist dude, Nanami picking one of the only female characters, and the match starts. Upbeat music plays happily in the background and the characters fly across the screen.  
Hinata gets some hits off of her character, but in the end, Nanami dominates.  
He sighs, walking away in shame.  
“Okay, who’s next?”  
I volunteer myself and take my place at her side.  
I’ve never played the game before, so I pick a random character and use the best strategy ever.  
Button mashing.  
Hey, it works.  
She wins by a landslide.  
“You’re next, Komaeda-kun.”  
“I don’t think I should have the honor to play a game with someone as talented at them as you are, Nanami-san.”  
“Get over here.”  
“I don’t th—”  
I grab his hand and place it onto the controls.  
“C’mon. You got this, Komaeda.”  
Hearing those words fill him with some kind of joy, and he becomes eager to lose against Nanami.  
“I think you picked this one, right, Naegi-kun?”  
He hovers over a character wearing green with absurdly flat yellow hair.  
“I just picked one at random.”  
“Well, I’m sure whoever you picked will make Nanami’s Hope shine.”  
Hinata looks disturbed. “Does he always do this?”  
Nanami and I answer in unison. “You get used to it.”  
Komaeda presses a button, and the match starts.  
Nanami’s character does this spin-kick and some long combo, knocking Komaeda’s heath in half.  
“Hey! Move a little!”  
On impulse, I go to push his controller a bit so that he’s not a sitting duck. Not expecting that, he presses some of the buttons. The character ducks, then throws her character around…but doesn’t. Nanami’s character remains static, and I move the controller around some, our character being fine.  
“Komaeda. What did we do?”  
Komaeda keeps spamming the punch button, with no effect besides punching Nanami’s character who is stuck in place.  
“Hey! That’s not fair! You guys used the Guile glitch…”  
“What luck!”  
Hinata is standing back, laughing at the whole situation.  
“How do you get rid of it?”  
The screen flicks off.  
“Did we just break it?”  
Nanami giggles.  
“No. To fix a glitch, you have to turn it off, then turn it back on.”  
The screen flicks back on and the words, “Street Fighter II” are reilluminated.  
“Let’s play a different game.”  
Nanami pouts.  
“What game are you worst at, Nanami-san?”  
“Why?”  
“So it’s fair.”  
“I’m not telling you that.”  
“It’s DDR.” Hinata offers up the truth.  
“What?”  
“Dance Dance Revolution. Sometimes she gets too lazy and stops moving her feet. It was the first time I actually beat her at a game.”  
“Don’t bring that up.”  
“Do they have one here?”  
“Yeah, it’s over there.”  
He points to a large and flashy DDR machine. It’s two-player. I know this game. Komaru and I used to play on one all the time. She always beat me, though. We walk over there and begin discussing how we’re going to go about doing it.  
“Hinata-kun. You’ll play against me, right?”  
The way he says ‘right’, accentuating that ‘i’, always sends shivers down my spine. A little because I’m scared, mostly because whatever it is, it’s not going to end well.  
He looks at Hinata. I know what he’s thinking.He wants to prove to me that talent will beat ‘insignificant people’, as he puts it. Does he really have to go so far for something as arbitrary as that? This isn't what I meant when I told him to be nice.  
Hinata looks at Nanami, for confirmation. She glares at him and he gets onto the machine. Hinata cracks his knuckles and preps himself for a wild ride. Komaeda pops in some coins and the lights flash on.  
“I’ll choose the song, okay?”  
“That’s fine.”  
Hinata scrolls to one of the hardest difficulties.  
Wait a second. Komaeda’s never even played this before. Is Hinata trying to sabotage him?  
The pounding bass starts and the colored arrows fly across the screen.  
No, I have a bigger issue here. Who do I want to win? I want Hinata to win so that I can prove Komaeda wrong, but still, I don’t want Komaeda to lose. He’s my friend. And this is a cheap tactic. Hinata doesn’t want to lose, either. Komaeda has outright insulted him more than once, especially in a soft spot.  
Hinata’s feet become a blur as he succeeds at tapping the right buttons, while Komaeda does…surprisingly the same thing. He’s actually keeping up. It took Komaru and I ages to get a song, even on easy mode. Maybe he’s just pressing them at random.  
Nanami cheers Hinata on. “Go! Hinata-kun!”  
I can’t lose, “You got this, Komaeda! Don’t lose Hope!”  
Somehow, this manages to encourage him, and I can tell he’s putting in all the effort he can. Sweat drips down his neck and can hear his heavy pants for air. He shouldn’t have kept his jacket on for this.  
Wait a second. Maybe…Is he overexerting himself? He’s never been the most athletic. Does he have some sort of heath issue? He’s so skinny and pale.  
I look around the room quickly.  
I need some way to get him off that machine before something bad happens.  
_Booooooooooom!_  
Behind us, the Street Fighter II machine erupts into a mass of fiery red smoke and flame. The noise makes the entire building tremble with the sheer might of its explosion.  
Everyone in the arcade is left speechless.  
Then there’s a scream.  
Someone calls the fire department and ushers us out of the building.  
“Did we do that?”  
“I don’t think so.”  
“Are you sure you didn’t touch something, Nanami-san?”  
“I just turned it off and on. I game. I’m not a mechanic.”  
“Hm…”  
“It’s like blowing in a cartridge. It just works.”

…

 

“I’m sorry for causing all that.”  
I lean back onto my bed, burying myself in my covers, trying to sleep.  
“It’s not your fault. You can’t make arcade machines explode.”  
“But you see, it was. I already explained my luck to you. The good luck of someone like you playing games with me, and cheering me on, had to equal out somehow.”  
“But it wasn’t all that bad. Nobody was hurt. We don't even have to pay for it. You need to think optimistically. We had fun playing with Hinata-kun and Nanami-san.”  
“I’m honestly amazed someone like Hinata-kun has the audacity to hang around Ultimates like Nanami-san so nonchalantly. Why does he think that he has the right to hang around such amazingly hopeful people?”  
“Komaeda. Talent shouldn’t dictate who your friends are. If it did, then why did you keep eating lunch with me all that time?”  
“You do have a talent. You’re the Ultimate Hope.”  
“Yeah, but you didn’t know that, back then.”  
“In my eyes, it shows something. Yeah, Hinata-kun doesn’t have a talent. But that’s a testament to him. Despite people like you, despite everything I’m sure he’s gone through, he still is friends with her. Not with the Ultimate Gamer. Friends with Nanami Chiaki. Doesn’t that show more Hope than anything else?”  
The darkness of the room settled as Komaeda formed his response. Instead, there is silence as if I’m lying here all by myself.  
“What if I killed Nanami-san? What would Hinata-kun do? Would he still be around the Ultimates? What would my classmates think of him? Would they feel pity? How would he take it?”  
“What would you do if I died?”  
“Hm?”  
“What would you do? You couldn’t live here. Your whole concept of Hope would be wrong. Everything you’ve ever lived for would be spit back into your face. How does it feel when someone asks you that? It hurts, doesn’t it? It hurts not you admire my talent, it’s because you’re my friend.”  
There’s a sniffle, then a cough. A quiet whimper.  
“Are you okay?”  
I hear a shuffle, then he stands up. It’s rather dark in here, but the thin light through the curtain lets me see the silhouette of his cotton hair. He rubs his eyes with the back of his hand.  
“You’re brilliant, Naegi-kun. You deserve the title of Ultimate Hope. You truly do see the Hope in everyone. Even trash like me, even people like Hinata-kun. I have seen no one with that respect, with that consideration for the well being of everyone.”  
Did he…want that response out of me?  
I smile and turn to the wall.  
“Go to bed, Komaeda.”  
“The floor’s a bit uncomfortable, do you mind if I—”  
I make room for him.  
“You do it every night anyways. I don’t see how it makes a difference now.”  
He lies down right next to me. He’s careful not to touch me. He laughs softly.  
“I’m not surprised you noticed.”  
I turn around and look him in the eyes. He’s surprisingly close. It’s nice finally being at eye-level with him. I touch our noses together.  
“Go to sleep, okay?”  
“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Guile thing is real.  
> http://youtu.be/VSBjqSV40Uw


	9. I'm Just Tired

I’m Just Tired

 

I open my eyes and lie awake on my bed. Outstretched, I rest comfortably, and rather uncomfortably, lays Komaeda, on top of me. He does this every day. I’m surprised Komaru and my parents haven’t noticed yet. Actually, I’m glad they haven’t.

But something’s different today. Everything feels…heavy. It’s like I’m sore everywhere. I even have a slight headache.

I sit up, pushing the boy off of me.

“Get up.”

“Hm? What?”

I shake him drearily.

“Get up.”

As we eat breakfast, my mom talks about something and I can't hear anything she says. This headache just hurts that much. I want to vomit. Komaeda looks concernedly at me, but I don’t know if it has to do with what she’s saying, or the expression I’m making.

We walk to school. It seems slower than usual. Komaeda asks if I’m okay. I tell him that I’m just tired.

I sit down at my seat in class and look around the room. Normally, about half the class shows up. It varies who it is, day to day, but today, something’s off. Everyone’s here? I think? My ears are ringing and all I can hear is faint mutters. Maizono, who sits right next to me, smiles and says something. I can’t understand her, so I don’t respond. The whole class starts saying something over and over and over and over and over and—

The door just opened. It’s Komaeda and Tsumiki. Why are they here? This is a first-year classroom. Why is everyone screaming? Why does everything hurt so much?

 

When I wake up, it’s in my bed. At home. Komaeda sits in a chair, looking down at me.

“Ah, you’re awake.”

“...What happened?”

“You got sick and fainted in class. Luckily, I was walking by with Tsumiki-san, so she was able to get you some medicine quickly.”

“What time is it?”

He checks the clock on my nightstand. I’m too much in pain to move.  
“11:05”

“Shouldn’t you be at school?”

“I came home to watch over you. Can’t have the Ultimate Hope die from a sickness. That would just be pitiable.”  
“I wouldn’t die from something small like this.”

“Small? You should check your temperature.”  
He hands me a thermometer. I stick it in my mouth and wait for the beep.

102.2 degrees!? Shouldn’t I be dead already!? My skin should be boiling off!

Oh, it was on Fahrenheit.

_Beep!_

39 degrees is still ridiculous.

“Are you hungry, Naegi-kun?”

“I could probably get myself something. I don’t feel that bad.”

I try to sit up, but Komaeda pushes me back down.

“Don’t overwork yourself! I know you don’t want to burden me, but please, just rest.”

I lie back down, letting him get up and make me food. He comes back with a small bowl of chicken soup, something you’d find in a can. As I eat, he sits on the chair, staring right at me. It’s a bit unnerving, but I just think he’s worried.

“Are you cold? I can get you a warm towel.”

“I’m fine, really.”

“You’re so strong, being able to fight through an illness like this. You must have such an amazing Hope to be able to bear through the shivering, the headaches, and that miserable feeling you get in your stomach. You must feel dirty. If you’d like me to give you a ba—”

“I’m fine. I’m fine.”

Let’s…get that image out of my head.

I wearily set the bowl onto the nightstand and lie back down.

“Do you get sick easily?”

“Where did you get that idea from?”

“Well…You’re acting strangely.”

“Strangely? How do you want me to act?”

“Just be…” I look at him in the eye. He smiles fakely. “…a better version of yourself.”

“Of course, I’m not good enough yet.”

He opens his mouth to continue, but stops, as if realizing like he shouldn’t say what he was about to say.

“You never answered the question.”

“Hm? Which one?”

He’s avoiding it.

“About you getting sick. You’ve always been kinda…weak physically.”

“I just got sick a lot when I was a little kid. There’s not much to it.”

“So you stayed at home, sick, all alone?”

“Naegi-kun. You need to focus on getting better. My life should be no concern of yours. I’m insignificant and worthless. A stepping stone for such wonderful Hope.”

“That’s wrong! You’re a—Eaghahgh!”

I cough. He leans forward to try to cradle me, but stops himself for some reason. He looks down at his hands.

“I’m sorry. I riled you up. I should have kept my mouth shut. I…I should let you sleep.”

If it weren’t for this headache and fever, I would be up, giving some sort of motivational speech, but like this, it’s too painful. Komaeda stands up and walks towards the door. He stops.

“Naegi-kun. With a Hope like yours, I’m sure you can overcome any Despair. I say that a lot, and I assume it’s lost its meaning.”

He turns around and looks at me. He smiles.

“I really do love the Hope you share with the world. And I know you’ve shared some of that Hope with me.”

  


When I wake up, I feel energized and excited. Ready to go, ready to do anything!

Gah! It’s cold! Am I still sick?

I look around the room. Komaeda’s passed out on the chair. He’s still wearing his street clothing.

Oh, so that’s why.

So then he came back to watch me sleep? That’s kinda creepy, but I know it’s because he must have been so worried.

I shake him to get up.

“Oh, hello, Naegi-kun. Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah! C’mon, let’s go to school.”

 

I’m sitting in class, and Komaeda’s words echo in the back of my head.

_“I really do love the Hope you share with the world. And I know you’ve shared some of that Hope with me.”_

What does that mean? All I did was get sick. I didn’t say all too much. Maybe, he wasn’t just referring to yesterday. I mean, I was the only person to really get to know him. It makes sense that he would, ‘Love my Hope’.

‘Love my Hope’, huh? Why does that sound like a…con...

No. Not a, you know. Impossible.

It’s just an...admiration, right?

Right?

_Right?_

“Naegi-kun, are you alright?”, Maizono says, with a concerned voice. My only repose is a shocked gaze and a yelp. “Your face is very red. Are you sure you’re not still sick? After yesterday…”  
“I’m fine. I think.”

“Is there something you need to talk about?”

There is, but not with you, not with anyone.

She pats her fist onto her palm.

“You’re tired, that must be it!”

“How did you...know?”

“I’m a psychic!”

Usually she’s on point. Not today, I see. Actually, this gives me an idea. Maybe there is someone I could talk to. Someone good at figuring things out, someone I can trust.

Kirigiri.

 

I finally find Kirigiri resting on a bench in the garden. She has her head sunk into that journal she carries around everywhere. I sit down next to her. She scoots away.

“Hey…”

“I don’t want to get sick. I have a case I’m researching.”

Predictable.

“Kirigiri-san, I need to talk to you about something.”  
She perks her head up from the notebook.

“What is it?”

“I think someone said that they love me.”

Shoot. That came out wrong.

Her mouth opens slightly, then closes.

“You think.”

“It was hard to tell.”

She places her hand on her chin, considering the situation. She sinks into the bench, becoming lost with the idea of someone telling me something like that. Despite that, she remains stoically calm.

“What do I do?”  
“Communicate. Ask them.”

“I’m not going to do that! No way!”

“You want me to figure out if they truly like you?”

“Well...Yeah.”

She turn to me and leans in, very close to my face.

“Do you like them?”

“U-U-Umm...Ehhh…”  
She returns to her former position.

“I see. I can help you out, then.”

“I knew I could trust you.”

She turns back to me.

“You’re going to have to tell me who it is, though. I can’t do an investigation without any clues.”

I stare wide-eyed into the purple lavender of her own eyes. The way she stares, it’s so demanding, so strong, so powerful. Without words, I begin to sweat, I begin to shake, and I fall off the bench screaming.

“Naegi-kun. There’s no need to panic. It’s not like you’re recalling a traumatizing childhood incident.”

I stand up quickly and surely.

“I wouldn’t exactly rule that out.”

She looks intensely at me, like I’m wasting her time. The pressure pushes onto me like a 40kg weight burdening my soul.

“It’s…It’s…”

I can’t say it. I can’t say it. I can’t do this. I’m stupid. Why did I decide to do this? Why did I think that this was a good choice? Why did I—

“It’s Komaeda Nagito, right?”

I sit back down, right next to Kirigiri. My motions are rigid and tense.

“Yeah.”

“I see.”

I look at her. She’s scribbling something in her journal again.

“You’re not going to question it?”

She pauses and looks back at me.

“I’ve been questioning it since day one.”

She goes back to writing. Defeated, I stand back up. She stands up, along with me.

“I’ll see what I can find.”

“Really? You’re actually going to help me?”

She giggles softly.

“I already said I was going to. I don’t blame him, you’re cute when you’re flustered.” What? What was that comment? “I’ll get back to you tomorrow. By then, I think I’ll have an answer.”

I sigh a sigh of relief.

“Thank you, again, Kirigiri-san. I’m probably just overthinking things, but thanks to you, I’ll have a peace of mind.”


	10. A Day in the Life of Nagito Komaeda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10?
> 
> Wow.
> 
> We've come so far.

A Day in the Life of Nagito Komaeda

He's relatively quiet. He doesn't bring up anything new to the table unless he is called upon. They played games in class. Much different than our class. Komaeda's luck is truly impressive. He won at everything he participated in.

No new information regarding an interest towards Naegi.

It is now lunch. Naegi and Komaeda eat lunch together sitting under a tree. They have a philosophical conversation about Hope. Komaeda is very self-deprecating and Naegi is trying to encourage him. Naegi seems on edge. When Naegi stood up, he tripped and Komaeda caught him. Naegi grew exceedingly flustered and jumped out of his grasp quickly. Komaeda calls him the, 'Ultimate Hope'. Judging from the context of their prior conversation, that is the utmost compliment he could have given him.

The bell rings and the day passes as normal.

School has just ended. Naegi waits for Komaeda in front of the school's gate. They walk home together. It is difficult blending into the scenery so that they do not notice. Komaeda is quite perceptive. I have to be careful.

They arrive at Naegi's house. I had assumed that they lived together. My suspicions were confirmed. After a couple minutes of waiting outside, Komaeda reappears at the entrance. It seems that he is going for a walk.

As he walks down the street, he hums a song. He walks towards the park when he is suddenly pulled down an alleyway. Two thugs stand there, one holding a baseball bat, the other bare-handed.

"What do we have here?"

"Hey, this guy looks pretty wealthy."

"I can assure, you that unfortunately, I am completely broke."

After some bantering and some verbal abuse, they decide to beat Komaeda up.

"Wait a second! You two are a part of the 'Crazy Diamond' gang, right?"

"And? So what?"

"I know your leader."

"Yeah, and why should we care?"

"I'm sure he wouldn't like it if you two were to injure a colleague of his."

"How do we know that you're not just lying?"

"Ah, you want proof. Of course you do. His name is Mondo Oowada. He's relatively tall, and quite muscular. I believe he drives a Kawasaki motorcycle."

How does Komaeda even know that much about our class? The rumors must be true. The two gang members stare at each other for a good while before they decide what to do with Komaeda. Then end up tying his wrists and ankles up with a rope and put him on the back of their bikes and drive off.

Unfortunately, I did not bring any modes of transportation with me, so I had to return to the dorms in order to retrieve my bicycle. Luckily, I had already been to the base of the Crazy Diamonds during a previous case, so I knew where to go.

Located in an abandoned warehouse at the edge of town, I found Komaeda and the rest of the Crazy Diamond gang, save Oowada himself. Instead, it was a blond-haired boy named Takemichi Yukimaru. He appeared to be the stand-in for when Oowada was gone.

"Yukimaru-san. Do you know who this brat is?"

"No. Who the hell is that?"

"He says that Big Bro Oowada knows him."

"Yes. That is correct."

Yukimaru pulls out his phone and types something. He gets a frustrated expression and seconds later, a bike smashes through the side of the building, creating yet another hole in the fragile structure.

All the people in the warehouse are stunned by the skill and power that the biker had used to create such destruction. As expected, it was Oowada. He parks his bike right in front and gets off.

"Yukimaru. What's the hold-up?"

"This guy says he knows you."

Oowada gains a contorted expression.

"Yeah, he goes to my school. He's a year older than me. Komaeda Nagito, right?"

"That is correct! I'm so honored you remembered my name!"

"Why is he here, though?"

Komaeda nods to the two standing behind him.

"They tried to mug me."

"Is that true?"

Their response is some sweat and worried panting.

This set Oowada off.

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT ROBBING PEOPLE!? WE RIDE MOTORCYCLES, WE'RE NOT CRIMINALS!"

The two begin to freak out and start running away, jumping onto their bikes parked about where I'm hiding, riding off. They don't seem to notice me.

"If anyone tries to do anything so bluntly illegal like that again, your head is next."

"Um...Big Bro Oowada, why've you been so anti-crime all of the sudden? Last year, you encouraged us to steal."

"Someone at school has changed my mind. This is for your well being as much as it is for everyone else."

That must be Ishimaru. The two have been very close recently.

Just as Yukimaru is about respond, a large blast resonates through the building. Another hole had been created in the side of the wall. Walking through it is a short boy with a couple body guards, one who is silver-haired, much closer than the rest. The boy approaches Oowada.

"O…Oowada?"

"Kuzuryuu?"

They begin to speak in unison.

"You're their leader?!"

They both seem very confused. I believe the boy is Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, the Ultimate Yakuza, and the other is Peko Pekoyama, the Ultimate Swordswoman. I had suspected their relationship to be like this.

As the two yell back and forth, a man draped in robes simply walks down the middle of the hall like some grand figure. Their voices slowly trail off when they notice his presence. He stops right between the two gangsters and places his hand on his chin.

"Gundham?" Kuzuryuu is in utter shock and is struggling to speak. "Why are you here?"

"I have come in search of the Great Serpent of the Netherworld. Perhaps it has seen you."

"How many pets have you lost this year?!"

The man appears to be Gundham Tanaka, the Ultimate Breeder.

"The Serpent was not lost! He was simply kidnapped by the small, heinous one."

"Small, heinous one?" He looks just as confused as before, until it dawns on him. "You mean, Saionji stole your snake?"

"Hmph. If you prefer to think of it in that way."

Kuzuryuu bursts out into laughter, falling on the floor to pound his fist against it.

A red haired girl runs right past me, adding another person to the bunch. She has a camera strapped to her. She must be Mahiru Koizumi.

"Have any of you seen Saionji? I saw her run by with a snake."

Kuzuryuu pauses for a second, only to return to laughter.

"Hey! Boys in this situation should know that you're not supposed to laugh!"

"Don't fight." It's Komaeda. He seems still have not broken free of his shackles. "We're so lucky to have so many Ultimates in one room together! We should take this moment to—"

A loud explosion is set off in the back of the warehouse, yet again. This time, it's much louder and much stronger. The sound echoes throughout the whole building.

Oowada starts panicking and cursing loudly. He mentions something about a rival gang. He hops on his bike and speeds off. The members of his gang follow him. Kuzuryuu, Pekoyama, and the rest of his entourage take this moment to leave out of the hole they came, having accomplished their objective.

Gundham and Koizumi cautiously approach the spot where the explosion occurred. From the rubble, a head pops out. Koizumi runs to it.

"Hiyoko-chan!"

"Mahiru-neesan, look! I found Mr. Snake!" She pouts her lips. "Although I tripped over something, got angry, kicked it, then this big explosion happened!"

The girl holds up a red and black snake into the air. Koizumi screams.

"Hiyoko-chan! Set that down! That's a coral snake!"

Gundham is angered by that comment.

"That is an incorrect statement. That serpent is the king of imposters. Although they cast the appearance of death, they are weaker than mortal spawn."

"Hiyoko-chan! Let that thing go!"

After much bickering, Gundham receives his snake from Saionji and they part ways.

Left all by his lonesome in the cold and half decimated warehouse, Komaeda lies on the ground, unable to move due to the ropes tying him down. He sighs, seemingly disappointed that he was just left here.

"Kirigiri-san? You were here all this time? To be expected of the Ultimate Detective. I didn't even notice you at all. Hm? What are you doing? You shouldn't cut these ropes, for someone like me. Just leave me here."

I cut him loose. As the sun set, I pedaled through the city, with a boy leaning on my back. I decided to take him back to Naegi's house on the back of my bicycle. He got tired and ended up leaning against me. When I started to speak, he straightened up a bit.

"Komaeda-kun. How do you feel about Naegi-kun?"

"Hm? That's an interesting question."

I waited for my response.

"Naegi-kun is like no other person to me. Such a unique person, so full of Hope. In essence, he is the epitome of everything I could dream of. His belief in everyone, including peons like myself, is truly astounding. It's hard to comprehend sometimes."

"Say, if you were to remove his Hope, would you still like him?"

"Well, he wouldn't exactly be Naegi-kun without that Hope. One's Hope defines one's personality, if you look at it in a way. If you're asking solely about appearance, I'd say that Naegi-kun is cute.' He laughed. 'But, I could say the same for almost anyone."

"Do you think Naegi-kun likes you?"

The wheels of the bike tore against the asphalt as Komaeda thought about a response. It was now almost pitch black, the sun having fully set. It was a long while before he finally opened his mouth.

"I…I truly Hope so. Even for someone as pitiful as me, I honestly want Naegi-kun to like me back."

 

…

 

"So…Then that's it? A…A…Yes?"

"It appears so."

My face contorts and turns a brash red.

"I'm…I'm…Not sure what to think."

"Talk to him. That's the only advice I can give."

"Al…Alright, then."

I bow just the slightest.

"Thank you, Kirigiri-san. I feel guilty for not confronting him in the first place, but you have confirmed my doubts."

"Raise your head. I don't need thanks. I'm a detective. This is simply what I do."

I just realized something about that story.

"Wait a second. Does that mean that you were writing as you were riding your bike?"

"I wrote it afterwards, obviously."

"S…Sorry."


	11. 'Til Then

‘Til Then

 

When I woke up, I was alone. My mother informed me that Komaeda had moved to the dorms at school. Once school ended, Komaeda showed up to transport his clothing to his new place. I helped him move everything. It’s rather awkward helping someone do all this when you know...Well…

Ignoring that, the dorms are actually pretty nice. To be expected from Hope’s Peak.

It’s quite lonely getting up in the morning. Colder not having somebody suffocate your body every time you try to sleep.

Honestly, I’m not shocked that he decided to move out. I mean, although my mother does appreciate the help around the house, we don’t have enough money to support so many people in our house. It’s just too much. He’s too self-deprecating not to think he’s being a nuisance.

 

I still haven’t talked to him about it, yet. I spent the whole day just trying to comprehend it. Why would someone like an average person like myself? Honestly, I don’t know what to say. I’ve never really been in a situation like this before...And with a guy, too...Ugh...I don’t know...I don’t know…

 

…

 

It’s lunch of another day. Let’s do my routine.

Walk up this hill, sit on the grass. Wait. Oh! There’s that hair. He seems happy, as usual. He sits down right next to me. When I first met saw him, I saw him as this strange white-fluffed, unhealthy, upperclassmen. Now, when I look, I see this kind of...Beauty. I don’t know how to describe it. I don’t know if my brain is playing tricks on me or something because I’ve never seen him like this. His face looks so smooth and his hair looks so soft, like a cotton ball. His eyes have a presence of grey, yet a subtlety of green, it’s almost difficult to tell which color they really are.

“Naegi-kun? Are you feeling sick again?”

“Hm? No. I’m fine. I was just spacing out.”

Awkward. Super awkward. Super duper awkward.

“Are you sure you’re not questioning the beauty of,” Oh god no. Is he-- “...Why are you making that face? I can take you to Tsumiki-san again if you really aren’t feeling well.”

“No no no no! I’m fine.”

Don’t overthink things. Don’t overthink things. Don’t...Okay. Hand him his lunch.

“Here you go.”

He takes it willingly.

Yes! Score! Finally, something normal. I shouldn’t--

“Here’s yours.”

He reaches it outwards towards me with an honest and pleasant smile. I take it. It’s beef and vegetables. I take a bite. It’s delicious. The flavors all melt together so nicely, you can taste just how the meat was cooked when it was on a bone. When did Komaeda get this good at cooking? Did I just not notice it? Am I playing tricks on myself again?

He laughs. “Looks like you’re enjoying it. I had Hanamura-kun help me with it.”

So that’s why.

We sit and eat our food for a while. The silence is rather glaring, filling the air around us with its openness. I want to say something, but I’m not quite sure to ask. I wonder if he’s feeling the same thing. When I look, I can’t really tell. He always has that plastic façade.

No.

This isn’t what I came here for. I came to this school because I thought I’d turn out for the better. This me isn’t better. I need to have courage, I need to be brave. I need to stop hiding. I need to just say it. I need to have Hope.

“Nagito. I love you.”

All movements in his body come to an abrupt end. He sits still, like a statue. He’s trying to take in my words, analyze each part of them, trying to take it apart, but it doesn’t compute. He drops his chopsticks.

He turns his head to the side, to look right at me.

“Huh?” I look right back at him. He looks down at himself. “You... _ Love _ someone like me? That’s...That’s…” He laughs. “Things like that aren’t very funny, Naegi-kun.”

“I...I…” Collect your thoughts. Collect your thoughts. “I really mean it!”

“But I’ve done such horrible things and you can still say that you honestly, feel that way?”   
“You can overcome those issues. It isn’t always easy. In fact, it’s hard. It’s painful. But you’ve already become a better person. Remember way back then when you’d mock me for just being a lucky student? Look at how far you’ve come. You’re not even that rude to Hinata-kun anymore.”

“But that isn’t any reason to _love_ me. You’re blinded by all Hope you have. It’s beautiful, I must admit, but you just can’t see straight.”

“No. That’s wrong. You once asked me what Hope is to me. I’m going to have to change my answer. You are my Hope. And from you, I know now that anyone can have Hope. Not just me, not just the people who go to the school. Everyone can have Hope. When I first ever step foot here, I wanted this school to turn me into a better person. I didn’t know that it wasn’t me who’d turn out better. It’s because I was able to talk to you for all these days that I realized that I don’t just need to get better for myself, but for you, too. That’s why I love you. Nothing can change that.”

He looks at me, our eyes staring right past any façade that we may be putting up. A single tear rolls down his cheek. He smiles a real, honest, beautiful smile.

“I’m glad you feel that way, too, Makoto-kun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this!
> 
> I'm so glad you enjoyed it this much to read all the way to the end. It really means a lot to me.
> 
> If anyone would like another story, leave a comment, and if it's something good, I'll write it. It could be this ship, or not. I'm pretty open when it comes to shipping.


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